[TV Review] Main Event – 3.17.91

Commentator: Jim Ross

This week on Main Event Sting and Larry Zbyszko meet in a rematch from last week’s batch of shows, Bobby Eaton takes on Buddy Landell, and a whole host of wrestlers go through the motions in their squash matches because it’s been a long day and they want to go home.

Champion Roll-Call

  • WCW WORLD HEAVYWEIGHT CHAMPION: “The Nature Boy” Ric Flair
  • WCW UNITED STATES CHAMPION: “The Total Package” Lex Luger
  • WCW WORLD TELEVISION CHAMPION: “The Enforcer” Arn Anderson
  • WCW WORLD TAG TEAM CHAMPIONS: The Steiner Brothers (Rick & Scott Steiner)
  • WCW UNITED STATES TAG TEAM CHAMPIONS: The Steiner Brothers (Rick & Scott Steiner)
  • WCW WORLD SIX-MAN TAG TEAM CHAMPIONS: Ricky Morton, “Wildfire” Tommy Rich, & The Junkyard Dog

The Lineup

  • The Young Pistols vs. Magnum Force
  • IN-RING SEGMENT: The Danger Zone w/ The York Foundation
  • Bobby Eaton vs. Buddy Landell
  • Dan Spivey vs. TC Carter
  • Big Josh vs. Mike Thor
  • Sting vs. Larry Zbyszko

*****

-Okay we are getting RIGHT into this one, no preamble or anything. Probably how it was recorded. Aw man. The Young Pistols make their way out for the opening match without entrance music or…enthusiasm, really. Was this at the end of a long taping day or something? Jeez.

The Young Pistols (Tracy Smothers & Steve Armstrong) vs. Magnum Force (Rick & Speedy)

Pistols take a minute but once the action starts they do their quick double-team offense thing, the canned crowd noise refusing to stop for even a second. Ross can’t tell which Magnum Force member is which as they’re wearing their weird leopard-print tights and not the ones with their names, which is far more helpful. Smothers stops a brief bout of Magnum offense with a double clothesline and tags out to Armstrong, who finishes things with a missile dropkick. This one felt like a match featuring wrestlers who just wanted a nap after a long day. (5:05)

-This week’s Danger Zone takes place inside the ring, Paul E. Dangerously joined by The York Foundation (Terrance Taylor & Alexandra York) and prospective member Buddy Landell. Taylor says Bobby Eaton blew his chance to be in the Foundation, Landell says he can tell by the look in York’s eyes that she wants him in the group and for sex (?!?). York tells Landell to keep working hard, continuing to be noncommittal about his chances at being part of her Foundation. Interesting how she keeps leading Landell on about membership, maybe we’ll get a face turn out of it? Eh maybe I’m overthinking it.

“Beautiful” Bobby Eaton vs. “Nature Boy” Buddy Landell

Slugfest breaks out right at the bell. Landell whips Eaton into the corner, Eaton catches a charging Nature Boy with a big boot and he Flair Flops to the mat. Eaton sends Landell to the floor with a closed fist, which gives him time to regroup and boast to the camera. Eaton slows things down with a headscissors after pulling the hair, but he’s a good guy now so it’s fine. Landell escapes and catches Eaton in the breadbasket with a kick followed by a knife-edged chop, WOOOO! Landell with a fireman’s carry, Eaton pulls the hair and goes right back to the headscissors, adding an armbar for extra punishment. Landell drops an elbow, action moves to the floor and Eaton gets sent into the guardrail and ring post. To Chinlock City we go! Eaton tosses Landell to the floor and rams him into the ring post, Landell kicks Eaton and rolls him into the ring. Eaton counters a middle buckle double ax with a right hand and rolls him up with an inside cradle for the 1…2…not yet. Eaton applies an abdominal stretch, Landell escapes by raking the eyes. Eaton counters a backdrop with a neckbreaker and follows up with a snap suplex and elbow. Nice. Eaton heads to the top but out comes Terrance Taylor who shoves him off the top rope, getting Landell DQed. (6:26)

Much like the last match this one lacked energy and was disappointing because of it. Will somebody get this roster some coffee or something, there’s still more TV to be done.

  • RATING: *1/2

Taylor and Landell continue their post-match attack, hitting a spike piledriver on the Beautiful one. No Z-Man to help?

“Dangerous” Dan Spivey vs. TC Carter

Spivey attacks Carter before Carter can even be introduced. RUDE. Ross tries to sell the WCW Hotline based on Missy Hyatt’s “budding new romance”. TAKE MY TWO DOLLARS FOR THE FIRST MINUTE, WCW. Spivey shows off his power and ruthlessness, and eventually wins with the Side Slam. (3:12)

Big Josh vs. Mike Thor

Thor tries to fight dirty, Josh gets mad and makes him pay for it with THUNDEROUS forearms. Thor charges at Josh, who trips him schoolyard-style and goes back to the potatoing and lecturing before finishing things with the seated splash. (3:05)

-Ross is joined by Missy Hyatt, who segue to last week’s Sting/Zbyszko match on the Power Hour where Zbyszko won via DQ after Sting refused to relinquish the Scorpion Death Lock.

Arn Anderson and Barry Windham attack Sting during his entrance and roll him into the ring, starting the Stinger off at a disadvantage.

Sting vs. Larry Zbyszko

Zbyszko tries to take advantage with some early covers but Sting kicks out each time, frustrating the Living Legend. Zbyszko switches gears and tries to knock Sting out with a chinlock, but Sting gets his arm up in time. Zbyszko connects with a karate kick followed by a vertical suplex but Sting once again kicks out of the lateral press so it’s back to the chinlock. Ross announces that Brian Pillman will face Barry Windham on next week’s episode. Not Sid? What a crock! Zbyszko tries a slam, Sting shifts his weight to land on top for the 1…2…Zbyszko kicks out and puts the boots to the former World Champ. More pinfall attempts, more kickouts by Sting, another chinlock, can you get déjà vu about the same match? Zbyszko with a neckbreaker for the 1…2…Sting still refuses to stay down. Zbyszko with a neck snap over the top rope, he climbs back in the ring and Sting catches him with an inside cradle for the 1…2…3! OH WELL THEN. (5:51)

I dug the story they were telling enough, Sting fighting the odds after being attacked before the bell, but Zbyszko using the same moves over and over, and the same spots over and over, to help tell it bored me to tears. Y’all only had six minutes, switch it up a bit you know? But maybe that’s the bias of 20+ years of wrestling evolution rearing its ugly head. Overall the match is okay but I was hoping for better. Sting getting the win probably means we’re in for a rubber match.

  • RATING: *3/4

Sting quickly rolls out of the ring and heads to the back, Zbyszko being held back by the ref and protesting. Anderson and Windham don’t finish the job for some reason.

-Ross and Hyatt are here to close the show and hype next week (Pillman/Windham, Eaton and a mystery partner who is probably The Z-Man/Taylor & Landell).

*****

FINAL THOUGHTS: Save for the main event there felt like there was no energy from anyone on this episode outside of the post-production audience noise WCW tossed in. This made the squash matches duller than normal and even Eaton/Landell felt like they were just going through the motions. Business did pick up for the final match but overall I’ve got to say this was a disappointing episode of Main Event. Damn.

 

Leave a Comment