COMMENTATORS: Jim Ross & Paul E. Dangerously
World Championship Wrestling is back to two hours this week, bringing the in-ring debuts of“Stunning” Steve Austin, Johnny B. Badd, and Black Blood as well as the most boring match I have watched since starting this project.
- WCW WORLD HEAVYWEIGHT CHAMPION: “The Nature Boy” Ric Flair
- WCW UNITED STATES HEAVYWEIGHT CHAMPION: “The Total Package” Lex Luger
- WCW WORLD TELEVISION CHAMPION: “Beautiful” Bobby Eaton
- WCW WORLD TAG TEAM CHAMPIONS: The Steiner Brothers (Rick & Scott Steiner)
- WCW UNITED STATES TAG TEAM CHAMPIONS: The Fabulous Freebirds (Michael “P.S.” Hayes & Jimmy “Jam” Garvin)
- WCW WORLD SIX MAN TAG TEAM CHAMPIONS: Ricky Morton, “Wildfire” Tommy Rich, & The Junkyard Dog
- Mr. Hughes vs. Phillip Parrish
- Barry Windham vs. Tim McGuire
- CLASH OF THE CHAMPIONS REPORT w/ Paul E. Dangerously
- PN News vs. Al Steele
- GREEN SCREEN INTERVIEW: Missy Hyatt w/ The York Foundation
- Johnny B. Badd vs. Kip Abee
- POST-MATCH INTERVIEW: Jim Ross w/ Johnny B. Badd & Teddy Long
- Bobby Eaton vs. Jeff Stone
- Nikita Koloff vs. Rick Hardrock
- VIGNETTE: The Desperados are coming
- Diamond Studd vs. Ricky Nelson
- Steve Austin vs. Chuck Coats
- THE BULL DROP INN w/ Dustin Rhodes, Jason Hervey, One Man Gang, & Kevin Sullivan
- Big Josh vs. Terrence Taylor (DUD)
- Black Blood vs. Tommy Angel
- Lex Luger vs. Jack Dillon
- Sting vs. Ringlord #1
-SUPERBRAWL ’91 CLIP: Nikita Koloff wallops Sting with the Russian Chain, costing he and Lex Luger their match against The Steiner Brothers.
-Ross, Dangerously, & Missy Hyatt welcome the home audience. This week’s show takes place in Fayetteville, South Carolina. Lots of debuts coming. Hyatt is going to be interviewing The York Foundation, Dangerously looks at the run sheet and once again there is no Danger Zone. Dangerously and Hyatt argue, Ross stuck in the middle.
Mr. Hughes [w/ Alexandra York] defeated Phillip Parrish via pinfall with a side slam (2:03)
- This is Hughes’ in-ring debut (at least the gimmick) after spending months at York’s side being all menacing and stoic. Ross spends the match hyping an inevitable clash between Dustin Rhodes and Mr. Hughes. I would like to see that.
- Wrestling in sunglasses is baller as f*ck, Mr. Hughes is the coolest man in WCW.
Barry Windham defeated Tim McGuire via pinfall with the Superplex (3:25)
- The “mysterious” man in a rat mascot costume shows up at ringside for the end of the match (Ross calls him “Rat Butler” which I laughed at more than I thought I would).
- POST-MATCH: Rat Butler attacks Windham, mask falls off to reveal “Flyin” Brian Pillman! I’m shocked. SHOCKED I say.
-CLASH OF THE CHAMPIONS REPORT: Dangerously segues into a video hyping Knocksville U.S.A.’s main event: Ric Flair vs. Bobby Eaton for the World Title in a 2 out of 3 Falls Match. Clips of The Great Muta are next; he will be taking on Lex Luger in a #1 Contender’s Match to determine who will challenge for the World Title at The Great American Bash. Another clip of the Sting/Nikita Koloff brawl from SuperBrawl ’91; they will be meeting in a singles match at Knocksville U.S.A. Cut to a Tony Schiavone-narrated video running down the card. Here’s what we got so far:
- 2 OUT OF 3 FALLS: Ric Flair [c] vs. Bobby Eaton for the WCW WORLD HEAVYWEIGHT CHAMPIONSHIP
- #1 CONTENDER’S MATCH: Lex Luger vs. The Great Muta
- LOSER LEAVES WCW: Brian Pillman & El Gigante vs. Barry Windham & Arn Anderson; the loser of the pinfall will be the one to leave WCW, not the team
- Sting vs. Nikita Koloff
- The Steiner Brothers [c] vs. Masahiro Chono & Hiroshi Hase for the IWGP TAG TEAM CHAMPIONSHIP
“The Rapmaster” PN News defeated Al Steele via pinfall with the Broken Record (1:07)
- News graces us with a pre and post-match rap. WE’RE NOT WORTHY.
-SWEEPSTAKES: Robin Leach narrates the rules for the Flash & Bash Sweepstakes. Winner gets hotel accommodations, tickets to the show, and Ric Flair’s diamond-studded gold Rolex. Sh*t man can I just have the last one? I GOTS LOANS.
-GREEN SCREEN INTERVIEW: Hyatt is standing by with The York Foundation (Alexandra York, Terrence Taylor, & Mr. Hughes). York is done trying to recruit Dustin Rhodes due to his bad attitude, and talks up Ricky Morton and the contract she offered him. Morton wanders in, says he’s read the contract, and will get back with her. Taylor says Morton would be a great addition to The York Foundation. I’m feeling some real intense déjà vu here, this is pretty much the Larry Z’s Legends segment from earlier in the day.
–Teddy Long introduces Johnny B. Badd, the most beautiful man in professional wrestling.
Johnny B. Badd [w/ Teddy Long] defeated Kip Abee via pinfall with a left hook (0:43)
- Badd locks up with Abee, breaks away, and has Long wipe him down with a towel. Abee charges, Long holds him back, and Badd knocks him out with a left hook to get the win.
- POST-MATCH: Ross gets some in-ring comments from Badd and Long. Long talks up Badd, calling him a 5x Golden Glove champion and once again reiterating that he’s the most beautiful man in professional wrestling.
“Beautiful” Bobby Eaton defeated Jeff Stone via pinfall with the Alabama Jam (5:26)
- Eaton does not have the TV Title with him and is not introduced as champion.
- INSERT PROMO: Arn Anderson vows to regain his title. They will meet for the title on next week’s episode of World Championship Wrestling.
- Eaton rocks here, holding the ropes for Sword to get in the ring and then attacking him, ripping beard hairs out. I love dumb stuff like that.
-SUPERBRAWL ’91 CLIP: Sting/Nikita Koloff brawl
“The Russian Nightmare” Nikita Koloff defeated Rick Hardrock via pinfall with the Russian Sickle (3:49)
-VIGNETTE: The Desperados are coming.
–Diamond Dallas Page makes his way out to the ring. He introduces The Diamond Studd to the ring, and does another Studdette search.
The Diamond Studd defeated Ricky Nelson via pinfall with the Razor’s Edge (1:51)
“Stunning” Steve Austin [w/ Vivacious Veronica] defeated Chuck Coats via pinfall with a spinning clothesline (4:25)
- INSERT PROMO: Veronica makes their intentions clear: to take the TV Title away from Bobby Eaton.
- Veronica gets physically involved in the match, with some dainty kicks and a couple of whips with her flower. Tremendous.
- Fine debut for Austin, interesting that he’s already being slated to challenge Eaton for the Television Title. That’s quite a push for someone who’s only been in the business for a year and in WCW for a few weeks.
-THE BULL DROP INN: Jason Hervey and his goofy cowboy hat introduces “The American Dream” Dusty Rhodes. Hervey has a “voodoo doll” of One Man Gang to I guess protect him. Rhodes brings out Gang and Kevin Sullivan. Sullivan has a voodoo doll of Rhodes, WE ABOUT TO HAVE A VOODOO FIGHT. Sullivan says he and Gang are a nightmare for “Elegante” (El Gigante), and talks about a trip they took to the Lady of the Third Eye. Hervey stabs the voodoo doll, Gang sells it. Sullivan says they are building the death wagon and will put the carcass of El Gigante on back, driving him to the Lady of the Third Eye. Gang sells more voodoo doll stuff, writhing on the ground. Rhodes confronts Hervey about the doll and makes him take the pin out. Rhodes’ guest next week will be Arn Anderson.
- Well that was certainly a thing that ate up TV time. I found it weirdly endearing but it did nothing for anyone.
Big Josh vs. “The Computerized Man of the 1990s” Terrence Taylor [w/ Alexandra York & Mr. Hughes]
Although billed as the TV main event during the introductions we still have much more show to go after this, including the debut of Black Blood.
Stall tactics from Taylor to start, hiding in the ropes and getting COM-PEW-TOR advice. Finally they lock up, Taylor slaps Josh in the face who chases him right out of the ring which is what the Computerized Man wants. Josh swings for the fences, Taylor hides in the corner once again. UGHHHH. Taylor ducks more fists and uses the ref as a shield, Josh moves the ref and finally lays in a couple of lefts. Josh with left hands and log rolls, Taylor rolls back to the floor and OH MY GOD LET’S GET ON WITH IT ALREADY. Josh blocks a scoop slam, hits one of his own and grabs a wristlock. Taylor whips him off, gets dropped with a shoulderblock. Ross announces that Josh is scheduled to face Dan Spivey at Knocksville U.S.A. while Taylor will be taking on Dustin Rhodes in a SuperBrawl rematch. Taylor wrestles control of the match and hangs Josh over the apron for various strikes and chokes. Taylor covers, Josh throws him off into the ropes, Taylor rebounds and hits a neck snap followed by a kneedrop. Taylor rakes the eyes to stop a comeback and goes back to choking. Snapmare into a chinlock. Josh finds a second wind and strings together some babyface comeback offense. Josh goes for the seated splash, Hughes hits him in the back of the head with a black gloved-right.
Big Josh defeated Terrence Taylor via DQ (9:35)
- Like watching paint dry but worse. EXCRUCIATING. Too much stalling, not a lot of interesting action once the match did start, and it went far too long for such a lame cop-out finish. (DUD)
Hughes enters the ring and hits Josh once more but Dustin Rhodes runs out to make the save before any more damage can be done.
Black Blood [w/ Kevin Sullivan] defeated Tommy Angel via pinfall with a top-rope kneedrop (3:06)
- Blood is an executioner-looking dude billed from France, but under the hood it’s Oregon’s own Billy Jack Haynes. Haynes is one of my guilty pleasures of the 80s boom so I may end up being less harsh on this gimmick than I should be. Oops.
- Tommy Angel once again given the task of putting a new guy over in his debut, and does a good job. I hope this guy got paid a little more than other WCW enhancement talent.
- How come Black Blood gets to come to the ring with a full on BEHEADING AX but Big Josh can only carry an ax handle? NO FAIR.
- Blood puts a black hood over Angel and gets the win with a top rope kneedrop. Should be a, HEH HEH, guillotine legdrop but Eaton has a monopoly on that move.
“The Total Package” Lex Luger defeated Jack Dillon via submission with the Torture Rack (1:31)
- INSERT PROMO: Luger hypes his #1 Contender’s Match against The Great Muta at Knocksville U.S.A. There will be a “special feature” on Muta next week.
- Luger is never getting a new U.S. Title belt, is he?
Sting defeated Ringlord # 1 via submission with the Scorpion Death Lock (3:35)
- Ringlord #1 is one of the Mangum Force guys, not sure why he lost his human and team name. That’s a strange choice.
- Ross mentions there will be no Main Event tomorrow night. Six-man tag team match scheduled for next week’s show, in addition to the TV Title rematch and special feature on The Great Muta.
- POST-MATCH: Sting gets on the mic and says he has a strong need for Nikita Koloff to get in his face. Koloff walks out and they talk trash…until the show randomly ends.
FINAL THOUGHTS: Honestly I was liking World Championship Wrestling a lot better as a one hour show. The squashes were shorter, not a lot of meandering, and they didn’t have two guys go ten minutes in a match so boring I almost threw out the hard drive this show is on. Oof. Seeing all the debuts were cool though, I liked that.