[TV Rundown] ‘Worldwide’ 06.01.1991 – Captain’s Match, The Desperados Are Coming, Ricky Morton Ain’t Subtle

COMMENTATORS: Tony Schiavone & Gordon Solie

A Captain’s Match headlines this week’s Worldwide as Steve Armstrong of The Young Pistols takes on Michael Hayes of The Fabulous Freebirds. Also on the show Stan Hansen & Dan Spivey try to murder two of WCW’s best jobbers, Ricky Morton continues his very obvious heel turn, and much more.

CHAMPIONS

  • WCW WORLD HEAVYWEIGHT CHAMPION: “The Nature Boy” Ric Flair
  • WCW UNITED STATES HEAVYWEIGHT CHAMPION: “The Total Package” Lex Luger
  • WCW WORLD TELEVISION CHAMPION: “Beautiful” Bobby Eaton
  • WCW WORLD TAG TEAM CHAMPIONS: The Steiner Brothers (Rick & Scott Steiner)
  • WCW UNITED STATES TAG TEAM CHAMPIONS: The Fabulous Freebirds (Michael “P.S.” Hayes & Jimmy “Jam” Garvin)
  • WCW WORLD SIX MAN TAG TEAM CHAMPIONS: Ricky Morton, “Wildfire” Tommy Rich, & The Junkyard Dog

LINEUP

  • SUPERBRAWL CLIP: Sting & Nikita Koloff brawl
  • GREEN SCREEN PROMO: Barry Windham
  • N. News vs. Rip Rogers
  • GREEN SCREEN PROMO: Nikita Koloff
  • Sting vs. Mike Samples
  • Ricky Morton vs. Doug Vines
  • Stan Hansen & Dan Spivey vs. Joey Maggs & Tim Parker
  • COMING SOON: The Desperados
  • El Gigante vs. Bob Cook
  • Big Josh vs. Paul Lee
  • CAPTAIN’S MATCH: Steve Armstrong vs. Michael Hayes (**)

*****

-SUPERBRAWL CLIP: Sting & Nikita Koloff brawl backstage.

-Schiavone and Solie welcome the home audience. Main event tonight is a Captain’s Match between Michael Hayes and Steve Armstrong. Solie is befuddled as to why Ricky Morton walked out on Dustin Rhodes last week. WATCH THE SHOW. Schiavone brings up Chicken Guy from last week.

-GREEN SCREEN PROMO: A comically angry Barry Windham vows to stuff the beak of the chicken suit down Brian Pillman’s throat and make him eat all the feathers. Ooo please do, I usually have to pay someone on OnlyFans to see that.


“The Rapmaster” P.N. News defeated Rip Rogers via pinfall with the Broken Record (1:54)

  • Oof the Worldwide crowd is NOT as into PN News as they are on the other shows.
  • Rogers repeatedly runs at News and gets dropped. A truly brilliant man.

-Schiavone and Solie talk about the feud that’s developed between Sting and Nikita Koloff. Cut to another clip from SuperBrawl of their backstage fight, spilling out into the parking lot of the Bayfront Center.

-GREEN SCREEN PROMO: Nikita Koloff once again tells Sting he was in the wrong place at the wrong time at SuperBrawl and demands he stay out of his business because what he really wants is the United States Championship. Too bad the champ doesn’t feel much of an urge to actually DEFEND it.


Sting defeated Mike Samples via submission with the Scorpion Death Lock (1:34)

  • Sting has worn his finest denim jacket for this one, airbrushed and everything. Meanwhile it looks like Samples in wrestling in black slacks. Guess he got off work late.

Ricky Morton defeated Doug Vines via pinfall with a stun gun (3:40)

  • Alexandra York and Hughes show up at ringside to scout Morton/play Hunt the Wumpus on her COM-PEW-TOR. Morton noticeably works more heel-ish as soon as he realizes they’re here. Again it’s not subtle in the least but I appreciate it.

Stan “The Lariat” Hansen & “Dangerous” Dan Spivey defeated Joey Maggs & Tim “Powerhouse” Parker when Hansen made Parker submit a lean-back camel clutch (1:21)

  • Hansen and Spivey attack before the opponents get their introduction, the latter almost giddy to have a real tag team partner for once in his life.
  • Hansen wins AGAIN with a submission instead of his namesake move. Respect for the diversification of the moveset.

-TEASER: The Desperados are coming soon!


El Gigante defeated Bob Cook via pinfall with the Claw (1:41)


Big Josh defeated Paul Lee via pinfall with a seated splash (2:27)

  • Josh caught Lee in mid-air during a flying crossbody attempt and threw him to the mat like a sack of garbage. BIG JOSH IS BIG TUFF.

Diamond Dallas Page and one of his Diamond Dolls make their way out to introduce The Fabulous Freebirds and Big Daddy Dink for the next match. Why is there a Captain’s Match happening? I don’t know, man. Stop asking me questions I can’t answer it makes me feel bad about myself. Dink is the only one to stay at ringside, Garvin and Page have way better things to do.


CAPTAIN’S MATCH
Steve Armstrong [w/ Tracy Smothers] vs. Michael “P.S.” Hayes [Big Daddy Dink]

Freebirds are the U.S. Tag Team Champions but neither man has a belt with them. Taping ahead RULES. Also I was under the impression that Tracy was the actual captain of The Young Pistols so now my whole world is turned upside down. Yes it takes that little.

Armstrong controls the early moments, Hayes bails to the corner and calls for a time-out after eating a pair of scoop slams. Did Steve pull the trunks? Hayes with a snapmare, Armstrong dodges a kneedrop and catapults him out of the corner followed by a standing toehold. Armstrong grabs both legs and teases a kick in the jewels but he’s just so darn nice. Armstrong lays it into Hayes with a series of left hooks and a monkey flip. Hayes tries to tag out but it’s a singles match, pal. Hayes dodges a corner splash and drops a knee across the spine before tossing Armstrong to the floor. Dink gets involved, raising the ire of Smothers, Hayes connects with a BEAUT of a left hook. Smothers helps his partner back in the ring, Armstrong gets a second wind with a series of corner mount rights and a backdrop out of the corner. Hayes reverses an Irish whip and dodges Armstrong, who bumps the ref. Armstrong counters a bulldog by throwing Hayes halfway across the ring and follows up with a flying crossbody but there’s no ref to count. Dink tries to get involved, Smothers makes him pay with rights. Jimmy Garvin runs out to help, Smothers brawls with him to the back; this opens the door for Fantasia to come out and hit Armstrong with a DDT, Hayes wakes the ref up and covers for the 1…2…3.

Michael Hayes defeated Steve Armstrong via pinfall (8:10)

  • Schiavone acting like this is the first time he’s ever seen Fantasia is pretty funny and also proves he was not watching SuperBrawl despite being at the event. I didn’t hate the match; nothing particularly cool happened outside of Armstrong getting ALL OF THE AIR with his flying crossbody but it was serviceable. For some reason I found it more enjoyable than a Freebirds tag match. (**)

Smothers returns to check on his partner as Schiavone signs off.

*****

FINAL THOUGHTS: Ricky Morton’s obvious heel turn continues and we got a decent main event to boot. Solid episode.

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