COMMENTATORS: Jim Ross & Paul E. Dangerously
This week’s World Championship Wrestling features a U.S. Tag Team Title match as The Fabulous Freebirds defend against The Z-Man & Robert Gibson. Also on the show The Enforcers make their debut, Gordon Solie gives us the low-down on the World Tag Team Title situation, and Johnny B. Badd runs afoul of the World Television Champion Steve Austin.
- WCW WORLD HEAVYWEIGHT CHAMPION: “The Total Package” Lex Luger
- WCW UNITED STATES HEAVYWEIGHT CHAMPION: Vacant (I think)
- WCW WORLD TELEVISION CHAMPION: “Stunning” Steve Austin
- WCW WORLD TAG TEAM CHAMPIONS: Vacant
- WCW UNITED STATES TAG TEAM CHAMPIONS: The Fabulous Freebirds (Michael “P.S.” Hayes & Jimmy “Jam” Garvin)
- WCW WORLD SIX MAN TAG TEAM CHAMPIONS: Badstreet & The Fabulous Freebirds (Michael “P.S.” Hayes & Jimmy “Jam” Garvin)
- The Fabulous Freebirds [c] vs. Tom Zenk & Robert Gibson for the WCW UNITED STATES TAG TEAM CHAMPIONSHIP (DUD)
- Ron Simmons vs. Greg Avery
- The Enforcers vs. Johnny Rich & Scott Allen
- BACKSTAGE INTERVIEW: Paul E. Dangerously w/ Barry Windham
- Barry Windham vs. Black Bart
- One Man Gang vs. Joey Maggs
- RINGSIDE INTERVIEW: Jim Ross w/ One Man Gang & Kevin Sullivan
- WCW CONTROL CENTER w/ Gordon Solie
- Johnny B. Badd vs. Larry Santo
- BACKSTAGE INTERVIEW: Paul E. Dangerously w/ Sting
- Nikita Koloff vs. Tim Hughes & Mike Maverick (SQUASH OF THE WEEK)
- Steve Austin vs. Jim Manning
-TWO WEEKS AGO: Newly bald El Gigante extracts some revenge by cutting some of Kevin Sullivan’s hair off.
-Ross and Dangerously welcome the home audience. Tonight will feature clips from The Great American Bash as well as an announcement in regards to the World Tag Team Championship. I think we all know where that’s headed already. Dangerously will also speak to Barry Windham for his first comments since coming up short at the PPV.
-Before the opening match kicks off the newly formed team of The Enforcers (“The Enforcer” Arn Anderson & “Living Legend” Larry Zbyszko) interrupt with some good news and bad news: good news is Tom Zenk & Robert Gibson have the chance to become U.S. Tag Team Champions, but the bad news is they will have the shortest reign in history if they win. Anderson then throws shade at The Fabulous Freebirds, calling Jimmy Garvin a bearded lady and telling the champs to look into their manhood to give them a shot if they prevail tonight. Michael Hayes is all too happy to fight them right now but out comes Grizzly Smith and other officials to break it up.
The Fabulous Freebirds (Michael “P.S.” Hayes & Jimmy Garvin) [c] [w/ “The Road Boss” Big Daddy Dink] vs. “The Z-Man” Tom Zenk & Robert Gibson for the WCW UNITED STATES TAG TEAM CHAMPIONSHIP
The Enforcers have been sent to the back, the bell sounded (during the break), and we’ve got ourselves a match. Hayes showboats a bit to start, strutting and moonwalking. Gibson connects with an armdrag, Hayes complains about a hair pull which only the referee seems to believe. Gibson counters a backdrop with a sunset flip, Hayes escapes and complains that his tights were pulled. Garvin fluffs Hayes’ hair, crowd chants “FREEBIRDS SUCK” and Hayes plays to the crowd more. Zenk tags in and controls the wrist, twisting the arm to bring the double champ to his knees. Hayes escapes with a slam, Zenk catches him off the buckles with a right hand and rolls him up with an inside cradle for the 1…2…Hayes kicks out and once again complains his tights were pulled. Garvin tags in and does some stalling of his own, showing off his guns to his partner as well as the crowd. Zenk parodies the Freebirds’ strut, you’ll never guess how he plays it, and connects with a backdrop out of a corner whip. Gibson tags in and keeps control of the left arm. Gibson & Zenk phantom tag, crowd backs them up when the ref questions what happened.
Hayes tags back in and this match continues to eat time while barely doing anything. Zenk works the left arm, trying to weaken it to take away his devastating left hook. Hayes whips Zenk off, Zenk catches him with a crossbody for the 1…2…Hayes kicks out then gets caught right back in an armbar. Hayes escapes, Garvin tags in and HE gets caught in an armbar as well. IS THIS GROUNDHOG’S DAY? Garvin uses the hair to reverses the hold, breaks it for a moment, then changes to a sleeperhold. Zenk escapes with a top wristlock but Garvin uses the hair to bring him to the mat and transition to a sleeper. Zenk whips Garvin off and catches him with a crossbody for the 1…2…Garvin kicks out, Gibson and Hayes tag in for their respective sides and OH MY GOD NOTHING IS HAPPENING IN THIS MATCH PLEASE END IT.
Garvin grabs the top rope, Gibson topples over to the floor behind the ref’s back and Hayes distracts the ref so Garvin & Dink can get their cheapshots in. Back in the ring Garvin tags in and locks in a reverse chinlock after Gibson kicks out of a lateral press. Gibson escapes, Garvin drops him with a knee. Hayes tags in and Freebirds double team behind the ref’s back. Gibson almost surprises Gibson with a couple of nearfalls but can’t get it done. Zenk gets the tag, backdrop to Hayes and a double clothesline for both ‘Birds. Dink attacks Gibson on the floor, Zenk pops him one then hits Hayes with a flying clothesline. The Diamond Studd and Diamond Dallas Page come out; DDP distracts the ref and Studd shoves Zenk off the top buckle. Garvin drops an elbow and covers for the 1…2…3.
The Fabulous Freebirds [c] defeated Tom Zenk & Robert Gibson via pinfall to retain the WCW UNITED STATES TAG TEAM CHAMPIONSHIP (17:07 or so)
- An ungodly waste of time, CHRIST. Absolutely nothing of interest happened and you could feel both teams padding it out just to hit some arbitrary time limit decided on in the back. Absolute momentum killer and I don’t even want to bother with the rest of the show, but I will because I only update this site like once every four months. F*ck this match though, for real. It could have at least been fun bad so I didn’t lose eighteen minutes of my goddamn life. (DUD)
-GAB HIGHLIGHTS: Lex Luger defeats Barry Windham for the vacant World Championship. Harley Race and Mr. Hughes are now apparently Luger’s new employees. Still waiting for an explanation on that one. Cut to a post-match locker room interview of Luger proclaiming his new heel status now that he has his head in the game thanks to Race.
“The All-American” Ron Simmons defeated Greg Avery via pinfall with a flying shoulderblock (3:33)
- Avery tries to attack Simmons before the bell but it doesn’t work out too well for him.
- INSET PROMO: Ron Simmons set his sights on becoming the next World Champion. Sounds good to me. Apparently he’s negotiating for one already and we’ll hear more about it next week.
- Simmons spends the match working Avery’s left arm to soften it up for the flying shoulderblock finish. I think he could’ve gotten the win either way if he hit that move two minutes earlier but I’m also still mad this episode made me sit through EIGHTEEN MINUTES of that sh*tty U.S. Tag Team Title match so I’m feeling salty.
WCW TOP TEN
- 10. “Beautiful” Bobby Eaton
- 9. Johnny B. Badd
- 8. One Man Gang
- 7. Diamond Studd
- 6. “Stunning” Steve Austin (World Television Champion)
- 5. El Gigante
- 4. “All-American” Ron Simmons
- 3. Sting
- 2. “The Russian Nightmare” Nikita Koloff
- 1. Barry Windham
- WORLD CHAMPION: “The Total Package” Lex Luger
The Enforcers (“The Enforcer” Arn Anderson & “The Living Legend” Larry Zbyszko) defeated Johnny Rich & Scott Allen when Anderson pinned Allen with a Spinebuster (6:28)
- After making their speaking debut at the top of the show, The Enforcers now make their in-ring debut as a team. They aren’t wearing matching trunks yet so they aren’t a real tag team.
- Diamond Dallas Page joins Jim Ross on commentary to discuss The Enforcers’ beef with The Fabulous Freebirds. The stalling alone between Zbyszko & Hayes would drive me to drink.
- I’ll cut them some slack because it’s their first televised match as a team but BOY they could have wrapped this up quicker and been better for it.
–Paul E. Dangerously interviews Barry Windham backstage. Windham says his match with Lex Luger should have been one-on-one competition and will never turn his back on him again. Next time they step in the ring Luger should be prepared for one of the toughest losses of his career.
- Should be noted that Harley Race & Mr. Hughes DID NOT interfere in their match at Great American Bash, at worst Race just gave him some advice to help him get the win. Hardly something to be THAT mad about but hey the brain does crazy things when it doesn’t want to admit fault.
Barry Windham defeated “Desperado” Black Bart via pinfall with a lariat (4:31)
- Bart may have never found Stan Hansen but he did get more offense in this one than I expected, including a backdrop into the ropes that damn near gave Windham whiplash. This allowed Windham to work babyface-ish without fully being one, but Bart’s girth prevented the usual superplex finish so WHO CARES.
One Man Gang [w/ Kevin Sullivan] defeated “Jumpin” Joey Maggs via pinfall with the 747 (3:51)
- Gang & Sullivan got a cool stylized camera setting for their entrance. 90s as f*ck but I loved it.
- Gigante will meet Gang at the Omni stop of the Great American Bash Tour: if Gang wins, Gigante has to return to Argentina, if Gigante wins then Gang will have to shave his head. These stakes do not feel equal.
- POST-MATCH: Gang hits another 747 on Maggs’ spine and cuts his hair, throwing it up in the air in celebration.
- RINGSIDE INTERVIEW: Gang & Sullivan stop by Jim Ross for some comments ahead of that big Omni match. Sullivan talks about meeting with the Lady of the Third Eye and how she said El Gigante will be flying back to Argentina in a cargo plane.
WCW CONTROL CENTER
Gordon Solie announces that the WCW World Tag Team Championship have been stripped from The Steiner Brothers due to Scott Steiner’s injury back at Knocksville U.S.A. Solie reads the bylaws in the WCW rulebook regarding championship defenses; failure to comply with a defense every thirty days will cause a championship to be vacated. Solie takes it to a special tribute video of The Steiner Brothers. They’re not dead, dude. Jeez.
Solie turns his attention to the feud between El Gigante and One Man Gang to hype their August 25th match at the Omni. Clip of Sullivan shaving Gigante’s head, clip of Gigante cutting Sullivan’s hair in retribution. If Gigante loses at the Omni he has to return to Argentina; if Gigante wins he gets to shave Gang’s head. As stated earlier in this rundown that is NOT equal stakes.
Solie mentions that the World Tag Team Title tournament will begin next weekend, then launches into “commentary” surrounding the situation. Steiners aren’t happy to be stripped of the titles but understand why it happened. Sure they are, boo boo.
Johnny B. Badd [Presented by “The Godfather of WCW” Theodore R. Long] defeated Larry Santo via pinfall with the Tutti Frutti (3:52)
- INSET PROMO: Badd calls PN News a big old ugly bear and he’s the real fashion statement of WCW. Cool.
- World Tag Team Championship tournament will begin next Saturday on World Championship Wrestling, with The Hardliners taking on The Fabulous Freebirds. That’s…going to be weird, I’m cautiously optimistic.
- Dangerously leaves towards the end to go to the media room for an interview with Sting.
- POST-MATCH: Badd puts what Ross calls a “kiss of death” on Santo’s face.
–Paul E. Dangerously interviews Sting backstage. Sting says he’s got the name Nikita on his mind no matter what he does. Feud doesn’t appear to be over yet.
“The Russian Nightmare” Nikita Koloff defeated Tim Hughes & Mike Maverick via pinfall with a DOUBLE Russian Sickle (3:29)
- Koloff dominates as expected but does get frazzled by ‘WE WANT STING” chants for a brief moment. The double Russian Sickle ruled.
“Stunning” Steve Austin [w/ Lady Blossom] defeated Jim Manning via pinfall after a clothesline/Stun Gun combo (2:51)
- Johnny B. Badd & Theodore R. Long joins Ross at the commentary table mid-match to “take a look” at the TV Champion in action. Badd calls Austin a “stud” and loves Blossom’s earrings and Ross is UNCOMFORTABLE.
- Badd and Blossom get to talking, distracting her from raising Austin’s hand after the victory. An angry Austin grabs Blossom and leads her to the back, annoyed at the sleight.
- POST-MATCH WORDS: Badd doesn’t understand why Austin got so “PUFFY” when all he was doing was talking to Lady Blossom.
FINAL THOUGHTS: That opening match sucked so bad it soured me on the rest of the show, which was…fine I guess. Bunch of squashes and slow trickle of story, but we at least got official word on what’s going on with the World Tag Team Championship.